


It's You

by alliaskofyou



Series: Lance Ship Week 2018 [6]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: BPD, Borderline Personality Disorder, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Lance has BPD, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, reassurance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-06-17 03:08:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15452049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alliaskofyou/pseuds/alliaskofyou
Summary: Lance finally decides to tell Kolivan about his diagnosis. Kolivan reassures him that no matter what Lance is the one for him.





	It's You

**Author's Note:**

> Day 7 of Lance Ship Week: Free Day

Lance has decided to tell Kolivan about his diagnosis. It’s something he’s thought about for a while, to be honest. He doesn’t have much experience telling people about his illness. The only people that know currently are Hunk and his family. 

 

Just the idea of telling him makes Lance want to curl up on his bed and never venture out of his room. But, if he wants their relationship to be based on honesty, he feels as if he can’t leave out this vital part of him. 

 

As he approaches Kolivan’s room, Lance feels the knot of anxiety twist in his gut. He doesn’t even know if Galra have mental illnesses. How does he even begin to explain the complexity that is borderline personality disorder?

 

His rampant thoughts are silenced as Kolivan’s bedroom door slides open and Kolivan almost runs into him. 

 

“Oh, Lance. I was just about to come find you.”

 

Lance smiles weakly at him and Kolivan’s brow furrows. “Is something wrong?”

 

“Can we talk?” Lance manages to say, his throat feeling tight. 

 

Kolivan pauses, eyes surveying Lance for any sign of what could be wrong, then nods, stepping aside to let Lance into his room. 

 

Lance walks toward the bed and sits on the edge, patting the space next to him for Kolivan to sit. Kolivan eases down, the mattress bending to fit his form, causing Lance to lean into him slightly. Lance idly takes one of Kolivan’s large hands in his and traces the veins, unsure of how to begin. 

 

Kolivan clears his throat; Lance’s gaze flickers to his. “Are you going to - what do you call it - ‘break up’ with me?” Kolivan is stoic, seemingly undisturbed by this question, but Lance can see the apprehension in his creased forehead and tense grip his other hand has on his thigh. 

 

“Gods, no.” Lance squeezes the hand he holds. “You’ve been watching too many Earth dramas with Hunk.” 

 

Kolivan huffs out an embarrassed laugh. “Then what’s wrong, kit?”

 

Lance swallows harshly and stares into Kolivan’s amber eyes, seeing nothing but concern and love in his gentle smile. It gives Lance the courage to continue. “I wanted to talk to you about something that is vital to my existence, that’s a part of who I am. By not telling you, I feel like I’m being dishonest.”

 

Kolivan nods and tilts Lance’s downcast face toward his. “I will love anything essential to who you are.” 

 

“You shouldn’t be making such promises before I tell you, Koli.” Lance smiles sadly. 

 

Kolivan is about to protest, but Lance stops him by continuing. “There’s this thing on earth we have called mental illnesses. Not everyone has one, but approximately 25% of the world does. I’m part of that 25%.”

 

Kolivan’s face is unreadable, but he squeezes Lance’s hands and nods, encouraging him to continue. 

 

“Do you have something on your planet where Galran brains don’t seem to work like they are supposed to?” Lance asks. He’s confused about how to explain BPD without first ensuring Kolivan has some reference as to what a mental illness is. 

 

Kolivan hums thoughtfully. “Yes. There are a group of illnesses referred to as eyecktos. There are different symptoms and different classifications for the illnesses. Each person experiences each illness uniquely, however.” Kolivan reaches up to cradle Lance’s face, thumb tracing his prominent cheekbone. “Do you have a eyeckto?”

 

Lance nods and Kolivan smiles, warm and comforting. He presses a gentle kiss on Lance’s forehead. “Nothing could make me not love you, Lance, especially an eyeckto.”

 

Lance is about to interrupt, but Kolivan halts him with a raised hand. “A significant number of the Blade have them.”

 

“Really?” Lance asks.

 

“Really,” Kolivan confirms.

 

“That makes me feel a little better.” Lance acquiesces. “But you still don’t know about my illness, and I worry that it’s going to be too much for you.”

 

“Lance?” Kolivan waits patiently until Lance stops playing with the edge of the comforter and looks up at Kolivan with unshed tears brimming in his eyes. “We’ve been together for six months.”

 

Lance nods and wipes his sleeve under his eyes. “Yes.” It’s not a question, but Lance feels compelled to respond. 

 

“You have no doubt showed characteristics or qualities of your illness in that span of six months, right?”

 

Lance thinks back to his shifting moods over the last six months, how chaotic they have been, how unstable he has felt. He thinks back to when he assumed Kolivan wasn’t having sex with him because he didn’t love him, so he isolated himself in his room for two days. He thinks back to when Kolivan found him sobbing on the bathroom floor, a blade impaled in the wall across from him (Lance had shoved it in the wall several times, trying to get rid of the urge to slice his own skin). He thinks back to when Kolivan found him lying on his bed, listless and empty. Yes, Kolivan has definitely seen him express his illness in many ways, but Kolivan has never questioned him, never ridiculed him, never made him feel stupid or unworthy. So, why would he now?

 

The answer dawns on him, blinding, bright, and full of promise. Lance tackles Kolivan in a hug, half of his body draped across his lap. He buries his face in the comforting fur of Kolivan’s neck and squeezes his arms around his torso. “I’m so sorry you had to put up with me, not knowing why I was acting strange.”

 

“Lance.” Kolivan squeezes him back tightly and kisses his temple. “There’s no ‘putting up with you,’ there’s only getting the incredible opportunity to be with you. Knowing about your diagnosis doesn’t change how I view you and our relationship. It explains some things, yes.” Kolivan runs his fingers through Lance’s short hair; Lance leans into the touch. “But, it doesn’t change that who you are is who I fell in love with, illness included.”

 

Lance lifts his head and leans into Kolivan’s hand that settles on his cheek. He places a kiss on Kolivan’s lips and rests his forehead on his. “Thank you. You have no idea how much that means to me.”

 

Kolivan smiles and steals another kiss from Lance’s lips. “You have no idea how much you mean to me.”

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think! <3  
> I have opened commissions! [Bay's Ko-Fi](http://alliaskofyou.tumblr.com/post/176322514333/buy-bayleigh-a-coffee-ko-ficombayleigh)


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